Ping Pong Will Never Be the Same

The other night I attended my first "tiger show." Of all of the things unholy I have seen in my life...I would say everything that went down during the show ends up in the top 20. Here's a list of what this woman did with her hooha:

- pulled out a 15 foot long ribbon (obviously just warming up here)
- shoved a large block of ice in, slammed down on the ground and plopped some cubes out in a glass
- loaded darts in, inserted metal tube and proceeded to shoot and pop balloons 10 ft away
- blew out candles on a birthday cake
- smoked a cigarette
- poured water in and poured coca cola back out
- shot ping pong balls out across the stage

This show was more on the scientific side than the sexy. If there hadn't been horrible asian techno playing, a tacky stage complete with the hood of a mustang sticking out from behind the curtains, a plethora of ugly naked dancing girls, and lady boys pining for a verginer of their own, I would have sworn I was in a laboratory.

At the end of the night I could just barely count on one hand the amount of times my junk was grabbed by either a lady boy or a very old ugly Thai lady (2 and 2).

In the process of looking for a demonstration of the aforementioned ping pong show, I came across this awesome Thai ad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRsZF3Y7x1w

The Voice Of An Angel

Ever since I left the States I have received compliments, usually accompanied by fright or giggling (depending on the sex of the person...although there was that effeminate Japanese guy who giggled a lot when I interviewed him) on my deep and soothing voice. Filipinas/os, Italian ladies, and most of all, Italian executives, comment on my "nice accent" and tuba-like voice.

I have finally been pushed to start my second career on the side. I have always played with the idea but tomorrow I will start what I believe will be a very fruitful career...or at least something I can fall back on if President of the world doesn't workout. Check me out on this site. Coming soon.

Next time a CEO or MD compliments my voice I am going to break into a nice rendition of this classic.