Ronaldo Caught In Sex Scandal

Brazilian football star Ronaldo has been caught up in a sex scandal with three cross-dressing prostitutes

Having dropped off his girlfriend at her house in Rio de Janeiro on Monday night, the 2002 World Cup winner picked up three prostitutes.
When they all booked into a motel, the AC Milan striker discovered that the prostitutes were in fact men.
He told police he was having some psychological problems linked to his injury.

How is it possible to pick up three grown men and believe they are women? I think Ronaldo developed a taste for man meat here in Milan, and more specifically in my area of town called Isola. This is an area I have dubbed "tranny town," or the "tranny triangle."

I think this is a vast cover up on the part of the Brazilian police for Ronaldo's insatiable tranny appetite. Less than two weeks left here. I hope I don't catch tranny fever.

At least I'll be safe in Thailand...

Dogs

Italians love dogs. The dog culture here is bigger than in the US. If I had to guess I would say roughly 100% of people here own dogs. People bring their dogs into the metro, restaurants, and bars. I think I saw one in a club once but I'm not entirely sure. It could have been a big rat.

Coincidentally Italians do not love to clean up their dogs' shit. These two factors combine to make life in Milan really exciting. The streets and sidewalks are peppered with turds just waiting to be stepped on by unsuspecting tourists. For some reason locals are immune to stepping in shit...or just really good at avoiding it. At any rate, I spend the good majority of my time walking the streets trying not to step in a big piles of dog gelato.

I think the sidewalk shit crisis could have something to do with the undertone of shit in the air of Milan and of greater northern Italy as well. I'm currently investigating this matter.

In a related topic: Instead of using the term "doggy style" for everyone's favorite sexual position, Italians say "sheep style." Learn this line if you ever come to Italy: "Voua trobarte como una peccola" - literally translated it means I'm going to fuck you like a sheep. Hilarious and true.

How Mine Looked

The Voice Of An Angel

Ever since I left the States I have received compliments, usually accompanied by fright or giggling (depending on the sex of the person...although there was that effeminate Japanese guy who giggled a lot when I interviewed him) on my deep and soothing voice. Filipinas/os, Italian ladies, and most of all, Italian executives, comment on my "nice accent" and tuba-like voice.

I have finally been pushed to start my second career on the side. I have always played with the idea but tomorrow I will start what I believe will be a very fruitful career...or at least something I can fall back on if President of the world doesn't workout. Check me out on this site. Coming soon.

Next time a CEO or MD compliments my voice I am going to break into a nice rendition of this classic.

Tranny Continuation

I have to walk past the trannies' apartment to get to mine. Recently one of them has decided to air their "pumps" out on the balcony.

Many of you did not believe my first post that I live next to large trannies. This is an actual picture I slyly snapped while walking into my apartment today. I then walked into my place shuddering uncontrollably. The personal sacrifices I make for this blog...

Note the back of each shoe is cut out so as to accommodate the massive feet they have. I guess they don't make size 17 pumps for enormous men. It must be tough to be an oversized tranny these days.

I Miss Working In An Office...

I really could have made something for myself if I had stayed in a 9 - 5 office setting. This is what I call art.

I'm currently in the process of planning my epic motorcycle journey through Northern Italy. It will last for a weekend and be reminiscent of Che Guevara's journey through South America except it will only be two days and take place in one country. So actually nothing like his journey.

Here is a visual reference of exactly what it will look like:

Late Cinque Terre Pics

Cinque Terre was pretty sweet. Enjoy some pictures I took while there.

Corniglia - not much to see here...

Vernazza - town we stayed in

I like to call this one "sailboat at sunset"

The sea was angry that day my friends

Bangkok update: I recently found out my trainee for next round was a former contestant on Australian Big Brother. Strike 1 and 2. He's skating on thin ice with me already...

Club Francesco Conti

I have been frequenting this ultra-cool club about 3 - 4 times a week since coming here.

No, it is not a club in the sense of the word where you go and make a pouty face to really cool techno music. This is actually my gym.

Club Francesco Conti is on Corso Como which is one of the main shopping/fashion/see and be seen streets in Milan. My Italian friends have told me it is more of a place to go and pose rather than workout. It is surprisingly shitty for such a high-end gym.

Italian workout culture is non-existent. First of all, I am ridiculously ripped, but if I am the biggest guy in the gym at all times, there is something seriously wrong.

I am convinced that European gyms are nothing more than an excuse for old leathery tan Italian men and women to go and walk around naked in the locker room. That or a place for homosexual men to go and pick each other up. I think they are the only ones who care about their physique here. Does that make me gay while in Europe?

Anyway, the gym equipment is basically worse than my middle school's. AND to make matters worse they only use the metric system. I am benching something like 10 kilos nowadays...it's emasculating.

Blow Jobs from Hobbits

I always wanted to do this in college. Turns out some TA's read the papers you turn in. I still doubt mine did.