Trannies

I live next to two trannies. These are not just ordinary trannies. They are each about 6'4", 250. Basically a couple of Italian tranny defensive linemen.

I run into one of them on occasion when leaving my apartment and every single time I am scared shitless. They are usually friendly and we exchange a "ciao," but then I feel them oggling my body and I get uncomfortable. Maybe this will pass and we will all become lifelong friends, but you can't imagine the fear that grips me each weekend until you come home at 4 am from a club and you run into a large lady man who stares you down in a creepy silence.

They also hang their thongs on my clothesline out front. And I think I heard one of them screaming "MAMA MIA" the other night...I wear earplugs now.

If nothing else I guess it's good training for Thailand.

What's the Capital of Thailand?

BANGKOK! Now imagine me crushing you in the sack. I will be wearing that joke out for months to come.

My roommates in DC had this weird dvd called "One Night in Bangkok." I guess I will have approximately 100 of those because I am moving there on May 10.

Here is another video that depicts what I will be doing while there:

Robey - One Night in Bangkok

Also, it will feel like home as it is the sister city of Washington, DC. Good times.

Easter Vacation

I'm going to Cinque Terre for the weekend. Here are some pictures for everyone to enjoy. I hear looking at the pictures is just as good as going.

Frat!

Italians are obsessed with American culture. I was walking around Milan the other day and in the span of 5 minutes I was bombarded with a Harley Davidson gang, 2 McDonald's, and these awesome fraternity and sorority shirts in some shop. Delta house Fraternity!!!


Also, "USA" is tagged all over the city on tons of buildings. It looks like a 2 year old did it, but it is still everywhere. Actually most of the graffiti here looks like a 2 year old did it. They really need to import some real American graffiti artists to teach them how to tag USA correctly.

It is really trendy to write random words in english on shop signs. A lot of places now call the traditional "aperitivo" here "happy hour." It basically is happy hour but they give you lots of free food with your 8 euro drinks.

They also follow US politics "closely." This means that they know who Obama and Clinton are and also who won each primary but they have no idea what stances they have or even what party they belong to. Europeans and Italians specifically are really good at swallowing facts and spitting them up at you but don't really know much about politics (see fucked Italian political system).

In conclusion, America: great country, or greatest country? Discuss citing examples.

Club Armani Prive

I went to the most exclusive club in Milan last weekend. Armani started it when he got bored of going to all of the ultra exclusive clubs he belongs to and he made it a members only club. Since I only hang out with high society Filipinos who know bartenders who used to date other high society Filipinas, I got in.

The club is underneath this other ultra cool Japanese restaurant/lounge. I went there with my manager and he knew the bartender through a friend back in Manila. We talked to him briefly and my manager jokingly asked him if he could get us in "downstairs." He looked at us, then asked to see our shoes (Adi) and said yes (I was dressed classy that night...sort of). He looked very nervous about getting us in though. When the two American guys next to us heard we were getting in they started swinging on our nutsacks trying to get in with us. This was the point I realized that this was not your normal club. I think one of the guys' words were "dude I'm married but I will take off my ring (starts taking off ring) and buy you guys all the drinks you want if you can get me in."

After the experience I don't think I can ever go to another club again. This was quite possibly the greatest club on earth. Every girl was a model except maybe a handful of former models (has beens). Drinks cost 20 Euro a piece (so you appreciate them even more). It was a very friendly atmosphere, probably because every girl in there assumed I must be the shit if I got in. Furthermore, I am the shit, so it only served to confirm their suspicions.

Overall it was a very lovely night capped off by a breakfast of pizza at 5:30am. Thanks Giorgio.