Crazy Monkey Defense

Since I have so much free time on my hands working by myself, I've started a new class. It's called CMD, or "Crazy Monkey Defense." It's basically some sort of offshoot of MMA.

http://www.crazymonkeydefense.com/cmdp/

Next time you see me come at me like a crazy monkey and see if I can't defend the shit out of whatever you throw at me.

I roll with socialites...

in third world countries.

I went to some actress's birthday party the other weekend. It was in a really really nice house in a rich compound in Manila (pronounced "My Knee Lah" if you are Filipino). They have these compounds in various areas throughout Manila to keep the poor people out.

I'm told the guy who threw the party only uses the place as an "event house" (read nose candy house) Apparently he is the son of the owner of Philippine Airlines. Who even knew they existed? Let alone make a lot of money.

Anyway I also invited my buddy from college who is Filipino-American and also did not know who any of these socialites were at the party. We both brought bottles of wine that were promptly hidden from view at the top-shelf open bar.

Bali Bribin'

I went to Bali last weekend for a second time in as many months. As luck would have it I got to give my first SE Asian bribe out! Actually two in one trip!

The first one came when I tried to enter Indonesian passport control only to find out that they would not put their visa over top of faded passport stamps I had acquired over 7 years ago. They shuffled me to a shady backroom where a beaming Indonesian guard not so subtly asked me for 50USD for "extra pages that look like American passport pages."

This offer sounded more attractive than flying back to KL for the weekend, so I agreed to give him 50 Malaysian Ringgit which is about 40 USD. He said ok and disappeared for 10 minutes. What he came back with in no way resembles American passport pages. He handed me my passport with a piece of grade z wax paper stuck into the middle with an Indonesian visa on it. I should have a lot of explaining to do to the American consulate here when I actually go to get more pages put in...

The next bribe I had to give came also from a very pleasant Indonesian cop when he pulled me over for not wearing a helmet on my scooter. I tried to explain to him that I'm a pale face and did not know the law but he didn't speak English very well.

It turns out though, that his English language negotiating skillz kicked in perfectly when I told him I was from the USA. He was able to get 10 USD out of me. My Filipino buddy was pulled over 10 minutes later and only had to give 5 USD after saying that he was just a poor Feeleepeenoh. Reverse racism.

Bali is still awesome though. The rest of the weekend I spent surfing and drinking and chilling on the beach. I plan to go back for a third time next month.