Negroni

This drink is the devil. I'm not versed in what goes into a negroni but I believe it is one half gasoline, a quarter cough syrup, and a quarter gin. I had about 8 of these last night after not eating dinner. It made for an interesting night which I do not remember but assume was interesting. I do remember arguing with my cab driver and telling him to fuck himself at the end of the night. Then I think I fell into some bushes. I was pulling shrubbery out of my clothes all morning.

I'm going out tonight to a true Milan club to hang out with models and football players (read soccer). I have become a true European douchebag. I call soccer football and use the metric system to measure everything. You want to know how far I am from the nearest metro stop? About 500 meters. I weigh 78 kilos. I like to drink liters of cola.

Hopefully I can form coherent sentences to speak to models tonight.