Dutch/American History Lesson

Did you know Martin Van Buren, The United States' 8th president, was the only president to not speak English as a first language? Did you care? Me neither. But read about it anyway from Wikipedia:

Martin Van Buren (December 5, 1782 – July 24, 1862) was the eighth President of the United States from 1837 to 1841. Before his presidency, he served as the eighth Vice President (1833-1837) and the 10th Secretary of State under Andrew Jackson. He was a key organizer of the Democratic Party, a dominant figure in the Second Party System, and the first president who was not of British (i.e. English, Welsh or Scottish) or Irish descent. He was the first president to be born an American citizen^[2] (his predecessors were born before the revolution); he is also the only president not to have spoken English as a first language, having grown up speaking Dutch.^[3]

Another fun fact involving Martin Van Buren from Wikipedia:

In a popular episode of Seinfeld entitled "The Van Buren Boys," Kramer and George are threatened by a street gang called the Van Buren Boys with the secret sign of the number 8 because Van Buren was the 8th president. They apparently picked that name because Van Buren was the man they most admired. The gang is apparently "every bit as mean as he was".

And even more about the history of the Dutch in America! Weeee!

The Dutch had settled in America long before the establishment of the United States of America.^{[nb 18]} For a long time the Dutch lived in Dutch colonies, owned and regulated by the Dutch Republic, which later became part of the Thirteen Colonies. Nevertheless, many Dutch communities remained virtually isolated towards the rest of America up until the American Civil War, in which the Dutch fought for the North and adopted many American ways.^[94]

Most future waves of Dutch immigrants were quickly assimilated. There have been three American presidents of Dutch descent: Martin van Buren (8th, first president who was not of British descent, first language was Dutch), Franklin D. Roosevelt (32nd, elected to four terms in office, he served from 1933 to 1945, the only U.S. president to have served more than two terms) and Theodore Roosevelt (26th).

Thank you Dutch people. Those are actually relatively decent presidents.

And now history about New York, or Nieuw Amsterdam as it used to be called in the 17th century:

On August 27, 1664, in a surprise incursion when England and the Dutch Republic were at peace, four English frigates sailed in New Amsterdam’s harbor and demanded New Netherland’s surrender, whereupon New Netherland was provisionally ceded by director-general Peter Stuyvesant. This resulted in the Second Anglo-Dutch War, between England and the Dutch Republic.

In 1667, the Dutch did not press their claims on New Netherland (but did not relinquish them either) in the Treaty of Breda, in return for an exchange with the tiny Island of Run in North Maluku, rich in nutmegs and the guarantee for the factual possession of Suriname, that year captured by them. The New Amsterdam city was subsequently renamed New York, after the Duke of York (later King James II) — brother of the English King Charles II — who had been granted the lands with the kingly stroke of an armchair pen (similar to the Spanish claim to the entire western hemisphere).

However, in the Third Anglo-Dutch War, the Dutch recaptured New Netherland in August 1673 and installed Anthony Colve as New Netherland's first Governor (previously there had only been West India Company Directors), and the city was renamed "New Orange". After the signing of the Treaty of Westminster in November 1674 the city was relinquished to English rule and the name reverted to "New York"; Suriname became an official Dutch possession in return.

Talk about getting fucked. New York for Suriname? I bet you can't even name the bordering countries of Suriname. You're an idiot. Much like the Dutch guy who signed the treaty.

I've actually come across a lot of Dutch people who claim that if they hadn't lost New York that the world would be speaking Dutch instead of English as an international language. Well dream on Dutch-bags. No one wants to hock hard G's all over the place.

As a Japanese businessman in Holland told me in my first week here: "ahhhsooo I think ah you must have cricket in your throat to speak ah Dutch." And as with everything I have ever been told by the numerous Japanese guys I have met with on this job, it was true.